Flying tips…just from 1 day:
#1-Do not try to eat a sandwich on your way to the airport. Before I even took a bite, I thought “Lord please don’t let me spill this on me…” Yep 2 seconds later it was ALL over my jeans and the bottom of my shirt. A White shirt. With drops of yellow vinaigrette dressing on it now. I still managed a decent look by tucking it in.
#2- Avoid the back seat of the bus. Because…(in my best game show host announcer voice) “Come on back, Jennifer Busby, to seat 14B, where you have all the finest amenities. A seat with no reclining option, no overhead bin compartment because that belongs to the stewardess. And the best one yet…sitting directly across from the lavatory. Yep, you guessed it, you can literally stretch your arm out and close or open the lavatory door. Go ahead, try it out.” (Too much? You get the point..)
But really this does buy you 2 things, aside from opening and closing the door while fully seated/buckled in (promise. I had to do it, the door flew open mid-ascent):
1. You have now become the bathroom monitor. Everyone looks at you and says “is someone in there?”
2. The SMELL. Now I’m not necessarily talking about someone’s “extras” they have so purposefully planned to dispose of while flying 30,000 feet in the air, (while that is unpleasant) I’m referring to the actual smell of an airplane bathroom. It’s a thing. (Sidenote-when I would fly as a young girl with my mom, I would never, ever use the airplane bathroom…the smell is likely the reason). Anyway…it’s a very distinct, cleaning smell? But not a good one…more like “I’m the thing that’s in here, trying to cover up all the wee-wee and poo-poo (sorry I have toddlers) smell but I really don’t work, I just blend in with all the nasty to create the lovely odor you are experiencing now”. Gag Me! It’s opened 4 times in 20 minutes. I might die before this flight is over. (About 9 times total!)
#3-I think my ears pop more when I sit in the back.
So there’s the tips just from a 5 hour portion of a day…
Jennifer R Salveson 