Enough (\i-‘nef )

What is Enough?

Webster defines it as “occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs or expectations.”

• Meeting demands.
• Meeting needs.
• Meeting expectations.

Anyone else familiar with those? I know I am. I think we all are. But let’s go one step further with this question…

Is Enough ever really Enough???

I can guarantee you will NOT find the answer to that question, in this blog post. HOWEVER, it will give you some qualified insight from a sensational writer, who will probably lend you the best advice on this topic you’ve ever read.

Who is it you ask? I thought that was obvious… (Yeah Yeah, I don’t have the best jokes, whatever)

So let’s just start with how I came to this question today, as I was driving home from church with tear-filled eyes. (Don’t worry, I pulled over to keep from harming other drivers since I was essentially blind from the waterworks).

Today and for the last weeks, maybe even months. Okay, Okay, I’ll be honest, the whole year. All 365 days of 2018 and likely 2017 and 2016… Anyway…for some period of time, I have been weary. Tired. Exhausted really. Still putting on a smile. Still putting my best foot forward. Still praying. Still trusting. Still ordering and processing and managing. All of the things. All of the time.

Yet…all this seems (and is) in vain. It seems we do these things, and through the processing, the managing, the putting on a smile, etc…we end up just Existing vs living. We get caught up in being “enough” for everyone else, that we forget why we are here: To show love. Be Love. Give Love. And…ENJOY and actually LIVE life.

So today. Today I knew I’d had “enough”. I was tired of trying to “be enough” for everybody, and I simply needed to melt down (in other words…have a good cry). Yet, I needed to melt down into someone whom I trusted more than anyone else. This has been the only person I have ever been able to “melt into” with tears and strife and weariness and exhaustion. I am afraid to do it to most, as most cannot handle the level of heaviness that comes with a meltdown, however this Amazing woman of God can and thankfully, she’s an awesome prayer warrior and mentor to me! So, as we spoke and prayed today, she felt my heaviness and simply held me and cried with me. She prayed. She spoke words of encouragement. Words of reminders, that our Heavenly Father is just that…our Father, our Papa, our Daddy. And that He longs to give us rest. And to let go of my need for order.

Wait. What?

I argued this point with her.

Yes! Yes, I argued with what my mentor prayed over me. Don’t judge me! I question things that go against my true nature and THIS…THIS ludacris talk of “letting go of my need for order” definitely needed to be questioned.

However, in some of her next statements she told me if I prayed nothing else this year, simply pray God’s will for my life. HOW SIMPLE.

And when she said that and as I left church feeling less “heavy” today, I thought about what I’d been doing the last week since I”ve been off from work.

What is that?

• Watching Christmas Movies? No
• Sleeping? No
• Resting? No
• Baking? No

It has been making lists of ALL THE THINGS, I felt I needed to “get in order” before 2019 started.

God has a HUGE sense of humor. He thinks He’s so funny! Well I’m sure not laughing!

Anyway, a week ago I had made a list of family members and I wanted a scripture for 2019, for each person, so I could pray that verse over their life. I really searched and looked and thought and “processed” and “ordered” this list. All to find out today…really it’s simple…Pray God’s will for their life!

So sometimes…we just have to be simple. Let go of meeting demands. Meeting needs. Meeting expectations. And…Just be.

I leave you with these final words of a song (Let it Go, by James Bay) that spoke to me months ago, but I wasn’t really sure why. Now I know. It’s a secular song, more-so about a break-up, but the chorus so Perfectly fits. And as I finished my drive home from church today, in a silent car, I started singing this: (The Parenthesis are my additions)

Come on let it go

Just let it be

Why don’t you be you (Jesus)

And I’ll be me.

Everything that’s Broke

Leave it to the breeze

Why don’t you be you (Jesus)

And I’ll be me, And I’ll be me

So instead of trying to fix everything that’s broke. Instead of trying to collect all the things and make everything right…Just “let it go” and let Jesus be Jesus and you be you. (Again…Jennifer Busby interpretation of the chorus only)

And know this.  As you ‘let it be’ for your problems and situations and life, then “You’re Gonna Be OK”  (I just found this song last week…LOVE IT!)