Have you ever gone to the store looking for 1 thing? And I’m not talking about the trips to Target where you go in to look for 1 home décor item and $129.33 later, you’re leaving the store. I’m talking, 8:25pm on a Tuesday night, when all the kids have passed out finally, and you’re sitting on the couch about to binge watch the latest episode of Big Little Lies or Stranger Things (I have watched neither of these, even though one of my best girls is trying her darndest to get me to), and you get a ‘hankerin’ for ice cream! (And yes, here in the South, Hankerin’ is a word! You legit have 1 goal, and 1 goal only: get in and out in record time! You want no one seeing you, so you are definitely going to self-checkout to avoid ANY and ALL small talk, and you simply want to be back on your couch with ice cream in hand, watching mind-numbing television to escape reality. THAT’s the trip to the store I’m talking about!
This was me a few nights ago! Except, I am on the phone with one of my girlfriends (Hint—If you really want to avoid small talk on this trip to the store, being on your phone helps!) and once I find the ice cream section (no judgement – I hate Grocery shopping) this is what I’m faced with…
Creamy. Non-fat. Frozen Yogurt. Gelato. Premium. Creamier. Creamier Churn.
…I didn’t realize there were so many kinds of ice cream! So many options. TOO many options.
As I’m on the phone I literally yell to my girlfriend…”is it this hard to find chocolate Friggin’ ice cream! I mean I have to read the entire box just to ensure I don’t buy a non-sugar, non-fat, non-dairy version…because tonight, tonight in my desire to escape reality, I NEED REAL, SUGARY, FATTENING ice cream. And not just any ice cream…chocolate. Not Fudgy-chocolate. Not Chocolate Ripple. Not Moose tracks. Just PLAIN CHOCOLATE.”
IS IT REALLY THIS HARD?
What? That’s not what you’re supposed to say! I just want chocolate ice cream and you’re confirming it is this hard to simply buy Chocolate ice cream.
“it’s like life though, too many options”
So yeah, buying ice cream, scanning all the options, then needing to read all content on the front of the package…is just like life.
Great! (*sarcastic tone*)